Now, in my life I fully embrace the weird, eclectic and sometimes “extra” part of me. I am so done with the “what if they see me as too much” or silly notion that I am not good enough, because both intertwine in a web of false accusations we find ourselves experiencing. Ultimately, both are ways of not accepting our truest selves.
I realized for a long time, I would play this character unconsciously, caring what other’s thought and putting other’s opinion on a metaphorical pedestal or assumed they’d think of me as “who does she think she is” vibe. I’d change my clothes if I put something on that that was too eccentric and tone in down by changing, sometimes up to 5 times. I write this now, thinking, wow - what was wrong with me?
The fear that comes from overthinking about decisions leave you emotionally exhausted or leads to an unhealthy mental state. To create certainty within yourself when there is so much chaotic, overarching of energies we take in, is to look within and find acceptance within yourself. When it feels like society is aiming to separate ourselves, the most rebellious and magnetic thing we can do is to be ourselves. It can be easy to take in all of our surroundings, because we are energetic magnets.
The best practice I continue to go back to, is creating certainty with myself by tuning inward. This is the best anchor we have, coming back to ourselves - the emotional body. To check in, how am I doing? Am I living for myself, right now? Behind the camera, behind the filters of Instagram, and what we show others, how am I becoming the anchor within myself? Am I intuitively expressing myself without hesitation? Wear that red lipstick! Do not tone down for anyone! If you think you’re not enough, where are you rejecting or not accepting about you? Your style, your story, your loud (but infectious) laugh? Say that opinion, even if it’s uncomfortable for someone else! Not being our full selves comes in so many ways. The whole people-pleasing thing is just getting old! If I am sticking up for myself, or expressing what I need to say in a heart-led way, I can only know FOR SURE I am showing up because I am worthy of it.
The more we show up for ourselves, the less we try to show up in a filtered state for others. The more we embody our selves to a whole, we stop searching for pieces we think we lost in others. What is the worst that can happen if we show up fully? They won’t like us, they will think we are “trying” to be a certain way, they feel their light is dimmed because we are too bright? Let’s speak on this for a moment….
There are webs of thoughts we get tangled in, that keep us stuck and eventually carry a heavy weight on our shoulders, in our body, and in our hearts. There are stories that we create in our mind and get lost in our reality - masking ourselves and making it that much more difficult to rewrite. Lies or false stories such as, “I cannot show up fully as my truest self, because maybe it’s “too much”, “too bold, too bright, too xyz.” “What will they say about me, think of me? Will I not be liked anymore because they feel disempowered, dimmed of their light, etc?” If you find yourself in this mix, know that you’re not alone.
How can we change up this story?
What if you showing your heart, opening fully, gives them the permission to open up as well? What if, all along, they see you as an inspiration and you opening your heart, makes them feel seen and loved? What if, the story of being too much is also the same as not being enough. They connect to the same thread. As we serve in this way, we are actually serving others.
Can we love as an act of rebellion? Still stay open despite what others may think? Truly, what others think of you is none of your business. We are truly mirrors of one another and whatever you may think someone is thinking, is your perception - just as what other’s think of you is their perception. Can we just show up as our fullest, most heart-led self and let everything unfold as they should? Because no matter what, if you practice staying open, and expressing from the heart, it can never lead you astray. There is no notion of the selfish being here and the openness that mirrors back will only bring more fulfillment. Do not let others’ perceptions of you taint your heart. Keep being your wildly loving Self as a service to the greatest good.
A last reminder: not everyone will follow. Not everyone will be ready or truly relate and it is OKAY. Not everyone will see your strangeness as relatable, or you radiance as beautiful, because everyone is on their own evolving journey. You may rub others the wrong way or you may touch the lives of others! It is a test to stay true to YOU. Some may see it as a permission to shine their light as well. It is our sacred responsibility to individually breathe in this way.
“You can be the ripest peach in the world and there’s still going to somebody you hates peaches. -Dita Von Teese
BE YOU in your misunderstood, uncanny, or bold, extraordinary essence. Keep shining and showing up!
Xo, Britt
This is a breath of fresh air and a blueprint for loving ourselves completely and most importantly untethered to the opinions of the world. Raw, unapologetic ME! Thanks for putting into perfect words this struggle that is very close to home for me, and showing me the priceless gains for showing up 💜